The Man Rules - funny!!!

thanks to ate mycel for sending me this cute transcript

The Man Rules
> At last a guy has taken the time to write this all
> down
> Finally , the guys' side of the story.
> ( I must admit, it's pretty good.)
> We always hear 'the rules'
> From the female side.
> Now here are the rules from the male side.
> These are our rules!
> Please note.. these are all numbered '1 '
> 1. Men are NOT mind readers.
> 1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
> You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
> We need it up, you need it down.
> You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it
> down.
> 1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon
> or the changing of the tides.
> Let it be.
> 1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
> And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
> 1. Crying is blackmail.
> 1. Ask for what you want.
> Let us be clear on this one:
> Subtle hints do not work!
> Strong hints do not work!
> Obvious hints do not work!
> Just say it!
> 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost
> every question.
> 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help
> solving it. That's what we do.
> Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
> 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an
> argument.
> In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.
> 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
> Don't ask us.
> 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one
> of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other
> one
> 1. You can either ask us to do something
> Or tell us how you want it done.
> Not both.
> If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
> 1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say
> during commercials. .
> 1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and
> neither do we.
> 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default
> settings.
> Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is
> also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
> 1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
> We do that.
> 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,'
> We will act like nothing's wrong.
> We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the
> hassle.
> 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to,
> Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
> 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you
> wear is fine... Really .
> 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless
> you are prepared to discuss such topics as Football ,Cricket
> or golf.
> 1. You have enough clothes.
> 1. You have too many shoes.
> 1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
> 1. Thank you for reading this.
> Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
> But did you know men really don't mind that? It's
> like camping.

=) deah


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