sad times made me not think of blogging for a while

March 19, while chatting with my online bffs, i just heard my mom crying so much.. i already assumed she's talking with my cousins from china, where my tita was having her treatment for her cancer.. heart-wrenching .. hearing your mom cry. then she went inside my room, told me to talk to tita.. and give her encouragement.. i started talking and can't stop crying.. i told her how much i love her and said she should hold on for i still wanted her to go here in Canada so i could show her our yard so we could both plant together.. that night, all i did was ask my friends to please give prayers for my tita.. and though its a usual thing, but the reason why i can't seem to find sleep was, i was thinking about what might happen.. hoping there could be more time for her..

March 20, saturday arrived, i wasn't able to go to darren's birthday because, i don't have the urge to party in this state which made me feel over-the-top lazy i didn't even go to ate lot's place. glad that there's no call.. thank God for another day for my tita. that night, i wasn't able to sleep again because of that, settled on lulling  myself with iswak series, and its kind of effective for me..

March 21, sunday came, i almost didn't woke up coz i already slept around 6am.. went to church, i almost slept while hearing mass.. sorry for that God =( then went to cedarbrae mall to eat our lunch with my parents. bought gifts for mikaela's birthday that afternoon. folks dropped me to the party's location. I arrived early coz ate lot asked me to help them out with the preparation for the party. picked up the cake, helped with the balloon then, phone rang.. dad informed me that tita already passed away:

"ummm wla na, bumigay na tita mo..."

that's the most heart-breaking sentence i've heard since i arrived here in canada,, i don't know how to react.. i excused myself, even went out of the hall only with my socks on, then i asked myself.. what.. what... why... thank you God for my tita's life... thank you... then, i went to the staircase and cried my ass out.. i bawled like a baby out there.. called ate lot so i could tell her that i need to go coz i might not be able to be in this party at my state... thank you ate lot for understanding and even offering a ride.. as i rode the bus, my mind was filled with all the things that reminds me of my tita.. i am really tearing up inside the bus.. i don't really care coz i am so emotionally unstable that time. when i reached home, i immediately went inside to see how's my mom and we both cried together.. i really felt bad not only for her but for the whole family.. i talked with ate din and i was amazed  with how she handles the situation. maybe she also got tired of crying by that time and all she could do is think of all the happy thoughts like meeting tita again... yes i do believe in that.. tita, we'll meet again and be together... *no crying, my eye make-up! lol* so yeah, and i am surprised to realize my brother didn't even know what's happening to think he's just downstairs doing whatever he's doing. when i broke to him the news, he immediately cried his heart out with my mom.. all of us 3 cried together.. such an emotional scene but i do not wish for that to happen again.. =(

forwarding things, now mom was back in the phils with my relatives.. and my tita's remains were already shipped from China. my mom felt so bad for my tita coz she was not embalmed properly, boos to those chinese beliefs, i just hoped for once they could try to open up their minds and do some exemptions esp for ppl who're seeking help from them who came from other countries. anyways, all's done was done.. the wake was being held in Sanctuarium, somewhere in Araneta Ave. How I wish I was there.....

going back to Canada, after days of just staying here at home, i broke my lazy bum days and went to school today. I fixed things up regarding my Canadian Studies class which took me more than 2 hours in the waiting list and spent 5-10 minutes talking the folks behind the desk. i missed my first class, good thing i was able to submit the activity. Crammed for my assignment for the next class.. because of my procrastinating specialty, i was only able to finish the theoretical part of the whole assignment. I didn't expect it to be that friggin hard! not that hard but, its so long.. and sometimes its irritating that some small stuffs like spelling, placing of footnotes, etc were the some of the many reasons why you have to repeat the whole thing all over again. Good thing coz, i am not alone! haha! almost the whole class were doing this pesky activity. and before i ended my day at school, i did something awkward to the highest level! i swear i won't do that again.. the hell am i thinking! akkk! swear to never open that thing up ever and start ignoring objects on my surroundings.. ugghhh! hate myself! darnit!

today is my twitter-whore day.. and i was able to make an approximate of 100+ tweets today i think.. that's really a lot! and yey i surpassed the 150 followers mark which is my target for the week. hope i can have more.. twitter is such a fun community!

what i did after midnight:
- tweeted a lot lot more...
- ate chocolate popsicle! omg i just loved it! yays to chapman's!
- continued munching this corn puffs! weird as it may seem, me and my bro felt nostalgic tasting this junk food. its like we're eating something from tita nimfa's nearby store! lol..
- called up my mom, talked to ra, nicole who seemed to gave more importance to the thing i forgot to send (laptop) than asking me again (hey guys!) huh?? hey guys, gal po ako! bwahaha and to her brothers (twins) whom just answered every question i asked with OPO (yes with respect) ahhh! no one except mom and ra asked me HOW ARE YOU! even in chinese, i would accept (kahit bisaya pa..)
-tweeted some more! lol! and plurked.. i am kinda taming my plurk posts right now.. ughhh i dunno, connected to what happened yesterday at school
-decided to finish this post which i ended up righting a whole book.

so i think i need to stop now for this one.. posting another batch which will include some crazy photos of meee.. =p



xoxo










=) deah
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arjoe.net

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